Prayer

 I go to bed most nights, and I do say a a prayer.

And the first thing, pls look after A and guide him in my absence,

And today, videos of A not listening, not doing what hes meant to do to the point where there are videos and voice notes.

So why am I praying? Obviously no ones listening. No one, up there, cares enough. I cant do anything from here!! Mom's calling and asking me to talk with him, but he just ditches the call if I say anything he doesnt like.

WHAT MUST I DO NOW? Simple question. We spoke months ago about giving him chores and getting him more involved with The Real Life of Things, and that hasnt happened. I cant control, or manage that from here. So now he is sitting in a hot mess at school, and I can what? Shrug my shoulders?

He's obv going through something but he simply wont open up. And it is fuck hard to try get him to say anything on a phone call. As much as I looked forward to this Friday, I dont anymore.

Update. Haloween, wasnt that fun for me, or him. He complained about how it was the worst HAlloween ever. Publicly, out a car window. And when afterwards I asked him "But hey that wasnt nice, what now with it being the worst ever?" A litany of ef why it was kak. He didnt even dress up. he didnt even take part. The car meant for small kids that walk the whole distance, there he was, plopped in the back. His mother planned all of that for him. And he didnt even take part. Then he moaned about why didnt he get as much candy as the others?! 'Well, cause you sat in the car Aiden, no one was going to send it down to you, you have to 'GO TRICK OR TREATING' to get the treats". Very much of unhappiness, from both sides.  He is not learning anything, or being taught anything down there. And of course, this conversation, ended up with the I cant wait till you go home. He didnt sleep with me that night. He came and talked to me, and when he got bored he said, OK well thats the daddy talk done. I dont know if I want to go down for Xmas. I dont want to be the bad cop in his life if this is what he's learning. I cant not do this remotely. 

During The Daddy Talk, right at the beginning, he climbs on the bed and says, you dont love me. OK then...I ask why? No, I dont call. Fair enough, Ive been sending voice notes every morning, and every bedtime, but he doesnt like them. To date, and thats going on a month ago, theres been 3 calls. @ of which he he hides under his blankie and doesnt want to talk, or hides from conversation, and one that was good, because he did all the talking, didnt answer any of my questions, and showed me how he played army guys. And no, I have asked, I have tried to plan, but hes always busy, or eating, or passed out after a long day. 

FFS, I am trying here.But Im at my wits end. After last month, I dont know how well Christmas is actually going to go.