Out of nowhere the words start falling,
Like lead slid off my tongue.
Of all the pent up feelings,
Of all that had been done.
It all came out without a mask,
No resistance nor remorse.
How the storm was real inside my mind,
Of how my feelings I had divorced.
And in the mess that all fell out,
The confusion, loss and yearn.
In that place I found a match,
And the will to make it burn.
It's a nasty word that. Expectation. And its taken me long enough to realise how much I have depended on it. Living on, or in expectations.
But its also dbl sided. I have expectations as welll, dont I? So...just a quick mental chart then...who has achieved my expectations? When I think of how I want to be treated, and things I want done for me, or to me, by virtue of expectation.....No one.
So why am I still playing this game? Where is the world getting these balls to think I must just carry on giving, because soemone thought they seserved it? I see a tough time coming up, and for once, bring it on bitches. I dont sheath my claws anymore.
Me, I had a good day. In about an hour I turn 47. Im in CT, visiting, mostly Aiden.
