It's not that I'm not a hater. I hate with the best of them. But Im tired. Tired of fitting in and making adjustments for people I dont really know, for reasons I'm unsure of. Sometimes, those decisions have a wide area affect. Tonight, it turns out that Area of Effect is my decision.

Pretty simple for me, Date Time Where. Then I pitch, and "uhm, no a different char" then "uhm....no this char cant do X." Then FUCK THAT from my part.Online gaming is one thing, gaming with friends who try to define who you are to THEIR friends, something else. I got tired of running around after an hour wait for them.

Im so so angry right now, but thats not something new. Im always up for a fight. I want to push people further away and I dont quite know why?

The voice of someone’s reason has spoken again.

No sense to me, or blindly ignored

Makes no difference.

I’m not complaining, its those voices that have saved me so many times. I don’t always hold back, I don’t always back down. Or rather, I don’t back down when I should. But when should I? Whats the q card? Whats the line? Where do you draw it? Ive gotten so tired of saying sorry for things that other people misunderstood, that I just rattle on like a machine gun. What gets me, is that in this here and now world, I have to say sorry for something you didn’t understand, or something you misinterpreted. YOU, is the highlighted word. At the slightest offence (and these days theres a whole political correctness dictionary to choose from) its hands in the air, and sighs of disappointment.

Fuck That. Instead of looking at the situation and the flaws in it, it becomes a game of what color said what, what gender and what sexual orientation. Im tired, of saying sorry, always. It doesn’t matter what happens, theres always sorry in there somewhere. Giftwrapped with a shit strand and hand presented. I feel like I have to say sorry, to make others feel good about themselves. Is that really a good thing? If you forever make people say sorry to those who cant stand up for themselves, aren’t you just strengthening a point of view that is faulty? Is that really the way to build a person up? To help them grow?

Before I full blown rant, it doesn’t make a difference. I’m tired. Of saying sorry. To people who haven’t earned it. People who just……piss me off and when I snap at them, are suddenly portrayed as the downtrodden.

Game on.