Sometimes you hit a crossroad. Its always tough, its never easy, a crossroad. Every direction a different set of options and consequences. I'm a Virgo, (not that i believe in star signs) but apparently we are meticulous. Cant deny I spent a fair amount of time thinking things over.

And so I choose.......NE. Fuck directions, fuck 'what I'm supposed to be', Let me be what I am. If me not fitting in with your directions is an issue, who's issue is it really, mine or yours?

Another day another dollar

We live in different worlds. Every day I wonder at the human race, and how we managed to get to where we are, with actually so little changing. Cities are built, technology advances and we claim ourselves more aware, and better prepared for the future. And nothing actually changes. The structure, and the mentality that comes with it, is still the same. The powerful at the top, and the millions of worker ants at the bottom. Maybe its just my perception thats tainted, but in the same breath I can see it in others lives.

The requests I deal with on a daily basis, and the sometimes outrages expectations, are proof of this.To a degree I suppose you can say that people are not technical, and that is why I am there, but also there's common sense. And there is a lack of just that in the world. Its as if people enter this level of superiority, and suddenly, the very laws of physics and rationale suddenly dont apply.Again (even though I feel its pushing the excuse envelope) these people are not technical, but is how the expect you to treat them when they make absurd requests. Its the expectation they create that they want it now, and that's it, no matter how unreasonable.

My example: I want my email backed up till next week Monday.

..........

..................................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What? Pause. Reflect. That is am impossible request. It all happens so fast, my brain grinds to a halt. I'm lost for words. Cautiously, "I don't think we will be able to back up till next week Monday, but we can back up (and I throw in a hint) what you currently have."

Unacceptable. Why cant we back it up now? "I need it backed up before I leave the office, Im going on leave". Again, my brain just dies. Perhaps laughing at somebody is actually a service to the world. If people hadn't laughed at me when I was a child, I would never have learned to think before I speak. These people are so coddled, put on such high pedestals, that they have become untouchable and inaccessible to the normal, everyday person who lives in reality. I'm not allowed to be blunt, I'm not allowed to say no, I'm not allowed to laugh. I have to play my words like a game of chess hoping one day they see the light of what they're actually requesting.

And so we play the word game till finally, at the crescendo of the conversation it comes out: If you show me where the emails are, I'll back it up. And you I saw it in her eyes like a dawning sunrise. Like a bubble rising to the surface through a thick sludge. Its not an instant "Oh wait I see what you mean", its a slow process of realizing "I need it backed up, where are the mails, they're not in outlook, where are the mails, wait, here, but why cant I see Next weeks mails.......hold on". That moment of silence when you cant show me next weeks mails.

And that is what I deal with on a regular basis, and that is what makes me question the reality I live in. My question tonight is; have we really moved forward then? Or are we still living in the dark ages where the king and his court reign free while the peasants just work the fields?