Happy new years....grieve. No seriously, Happy New Years Eve :) Day was ok, evening a bit rocky. Dammit man, Am I the bad guy for saying fuck off? Lets call a spade a spade here; thats how my new years eve went. But I said it because it needed to be said. Im the first to preach love and patience, but wow, sometimes a line needs to be drawn.

I cant carry on being the 'good guy', the spiritual deflect conflict guy. People cause shit and somewhere along the way, I find that burning bag on my door step. And then it flows. My vengeance, my views, my opinion I guess. I think what gets me, is that this shitty drama always crops up on your doorstep on a day like this, you know, a day like Old Years Eve, when all you really want to do, is chill, the FUCK, out.

And then people press that button. Wait, no. They hammer it. And hammer again. And no matter how hard you keep your cool, and just quietly sip your whiskey, they hammer that button, at their own peril, with out knowing it. Good news is that all is quiet now. For now no more messages, wife is peacefully asleep, and music is playing in the back ground. All is calm in the world, for this welcome to the new year. At least for now. I can carry on fighting tomorrow, but not right now.

Ever heard of Whatsapp? That socially convenient get hold of you app? Why is is it, that tonight, Ive had three conversations telling others it will be alright, and yet dont feel like anything, will be alright? Just a thought.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mkUp1V3ys0


Dont watch, just listen......sshhhh.......just close ure eyes.

Christmas, along with new years. Interesting time to watch people. There is so much garbage in my mind right now its hard to start off on one thing and actually make a point. My brother phoned to apologize for not calling about Christmas, turn out hes working straight through, so my rant from the other night kinda of sounds stupid now.

I dont mind working through December. Its quieter in the city, and on the roads. What has caught my eye, is that it seems as if people are so unused to open roads, that mostly the assholes stay behind in JHB for December. My God the amount of bad driving I've seem in the last 2 weeks is amazing. Just today I say a man drive through a red traffic light, which had a right of way arrow for oncoming traffic. The guy in the car next to me was all hooter and exotic dancing......while on his mobile phone. Wow humanity.....just really, wow. I just seems that we are all so wrapped up in our lives that we don't see what a contradiction we are every day of our lives. What hypocrates we can be when we want. There is no humility in the world. We have all been taught to speak our minds cause its our 'right', and anyone who doesn't respect it, must be the bad guy. Beause I'm right after all? I was taught that I'm right, and its my right, to be right, even if I'm wrong.

Hey maybe I'm a Virgo at the end of the day, and like things ordered, but you cant go getting upset with someone for breaking the law, and then chastise them while you're breaking it. What category does that fall in to? Morals, ethics, logic, common sense? I was brought up to respect other people, even those who dont always deserve it. Well, at least on a very basic level. There are those who just have done nothing to earn my respect, and thats fine by me. I dont expect them to respect me, it boils down to; I'll leave you alone, and you do the same for me. Which is also respect, but like I said, a very basic level. Yet you bump into those who DEMAND it, and thats where we fail in my eyes. Everyone these days demands to be respected, because they have been taught that the deserve it. And im not talking about kids here. Its the adults that are the problem. Once again, the strick diet of Rumi and The Secret come in to play. They both have good points, and I'm not knocking them directly, but so SO many people have just taken the "I deserve anything, everything plus interest" idea and made it a lifestyle. Wrong guys, just wrong. Theres truth in what they say, but it simply isnt as easy as believing you deserve to do what you want, when and how as well, and blaming the universe when it doesn't happen.

Have a merry one.

So today is today. 14th Dec 2014. It all started as a normal, good Sunday. At the end of it, I'm in a foul mood. Man, I'm tired of explaining myself. I'm in a shit mood cause as that festive mood and joy get closer, I feel farther away. I know why, and its the usual story of of life; drama. I have asked my brother how many times what the plan is for Xmas, and I have no reply. I have no answer. I have no purpose, *as usual* for this Christmas. And I hate it, I hate IT, therefore, I hate.

I never thought I would miss my parents, or Christmas with family. I carried on in my life after they were gone, and its always been a small sore point. Maybe getting older has made me more aware of it. There is no one to turn to to, no one to call closer. There is just, nothing in this life I was raised to believe in. I am married, and happily so, and every year the talk is about where do we go for Xmas eve, and where to for Christmas day. I have nothing to add, nothing to fight for in that aspect. It sounds wrong I guess, but its not how I mean it. I want to fight with my wife about who's family we spend Xmas with. I want to have something that I can say is important to me, outside of our relationship. But whats the point in a one sided argument? If I dont get an answer, isnt that answser in its own right? I hate Christmas.

Long time no post. No real reason, just been busy with that mini series called life. Watching people and wondering whats really up. Loads of questions, but on the other hand, are they questions that will change the way people think, or act? Nah, I dont think so. Chilled evening, storming here. Loving the sound of rain outside while a family sleeps in peace. I find myself turning off all radios and T.V's these days, and just enjoying the silence.

Trying to just smile and nod at the world, dont think there will ever come a day when I can say "Ah Ha! I get it!". If i ever do I would more than likely be lying to myself and to the world. But maybe thats what whats our society tick; just believing in something and sticking to your guns, no matter what the truth really is. Finding a camp, and having blind, loyal trust in it. Ah well, guess thats not me. Problem is I will always question, and then probably question again.

I havent written anything from the old books yet, they proving to be harder to find than i thought. Dammit! I thought i knew where they were! Im keeping half an eye out for them, sure they will pop up again sometime.

I shared this link with one person, and now find myself compromised. If they read this, well you know who you are. Can I still be open and honest and myself now, with out judgement? Its not that Im not open and honest, I just dont normally share this side of what goes on in my head. Why I shared it, God alone knows. But there is reason in everything that happens so I guess that happened.

I met a guy today, who inspired a whole new word in my life. Do you know the word Nostalgia? If not, google it. Anyway, my word of the day is: Knobstalgia. Thats when you only have totally dick memories of the past, and you roll around in them in some sort of twisted pleasure. Really, get over the past, it isnt going to change.I have sympathy for people with tough stories, but wow, you get those that have made it a life motto, dragging it forward and torturing people in the present with it. Life is, just once. One go at it, and we all fuck it up at some point, even if we dont know it. But we carry on man. We pick ourselves up and well, just make it better. I dont get people who dont see that.

Time out for me, but I did enjoy this short story.

A night like any other, breeze cool, stars above

But

The fury inside, keeping me warm, keeping my blood on the flow

I don’t hate, I just despise, the rules and regulations

You people so admire.

You hold it like gold stolen from a mine

You always turn back to it like something you could never find

I hate you for clutching, for holding on so long

To the falseness of others that you thought would make you strong

To the things I question, and make me the complainer in your eyes

All those things I ever questioned, are the things that I despise.

Just something that popped up in my mind, didn't want to lose it.

Humans and Horcrux's

I love the way music has the ability to take you somewhere else. Albeit not always somewhere you want to go, but that power still lies there.One of those night's; sleep dodging me, zoo still awake so I write while I watch them. But that's a different story, the zoo. I'm listening to a song, not terribly old, not exceptionally new, but it holds memories. I wonder if it's like that for everyone. You hear a song and it takes you back. Not the kind of song that takes you back and then you're back in work mode. A song that takes you back, and after the initial while says, "Come back here Bitch, I'm not done with you".

There's probably a lot more to say on this, and the intention is there, but tonight's not the night for it. All I can say for now is.....to be continued.

I love laughing. If you're not laughing in you're life, you're not living. I guess you can say my problem comes in when I'm always laughing at stuff I made up, and normally not in a positive way. Thing for me is, any joke in life is always at someones cost. And I guess my justification is; laugh at me, make me the butt of a joke, and Ill roll with it as long as I can laugh at it. That's a fair deal isn't it? So here is today's meeting, through my eyes:

Ok so I removed it because if anyone see it and recognizes the faces....it would be a nightmare for ever.

I just cant take these things seriously. 2 hours of yack yack, and no real point or conclusion? Meetings should have a point, and all those I attend tend to end up this way. These have more meaning and purpose than the meeting that actually took place.

In conclusion, let the laughter continue.

I just came across an article from 2010. Tracked it a bit further, and wow, just wow. Guy I worked with bout 15 yrs ago, handed two life sentences. Murder, arson and rape. Those were the charges in 2010. When I met him, he had just got paroled for theft and assault. Kind of strange to think how one does things. You try do whats right, you keep the faith. you feel you're doing the right thing. and 15 years later, turns out you were right. We worked together at a pizza place, he was a driver (what we call the delivery guy here). I knew about his past. I was probably what you could call middle management. He didnt strike me as shy, and he definitely didnt strike me as shy either. But life went on. I wouldnt say we formed a huge brotherly love for one another, but we got along well enough. As life went on, I went my way, he went his. Was actually last year one of my old waitress friends asked me if I had heard the latest news. I had'nt. She gave me a brief run down, but I havent actually looked in to it or thought about it till tonight. Long story short, he murdered his girlfriend and burnt her body in a field, then tried to burn his flat down. Along with that, came a charge of raping a 6 year old girl, for which the charges were dropped in 2006/2007 or there about, then reopened.

Its all an age old story. These things happen everyday. I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, or cold or callous, but they do. But these days it only seems to hit home when it pounds down right next you. When you can see the face, hear the name and put all that in to a memory relating to you. For me, remembering the occasional night that we did have a drink after work, and the stories he told me of his previous time in prison, it was all from a different world. I listened, and tried not to judge. He had done what he had done, and had 'paid the price', and made it sound like it was all young foolishness. We all walk our path, who was I too point a finger? God knows I have my own dark moments down memory lane. He told me of his life in the cell, and the conditions, and the things he learned, and friends he made. In no great detail, not like I could write a biography or anything, but enough for the words to stick.The more he told me of those conditions, the more I believed him when he said he was remorseful. At that point he had a girlfriend, and a kid or 2 if i remember. I met her on the occasional night when she came to say hi to him at work. He really did seem on the right path. I left the restaurant industry and well we all did that life thing of going our own way. What sticks with me now, is who he was, and who he was. Sounds a bit strange I'll concede, but that's what it is in my life. All boils down to the same thing, who he was. I could only really say something about who he is now if i actually spoke to him, otherwise it would just be my interpretation of what I've read. Thing is, he really looked like he was trying. He did his job, he made his shifts, he looked like he was trying to get on, move on, get past it. I cant help but wonder how dark a persons life must get, that they have to go down that road. What it is that makes people turn down that road and never find their way back out. Ive never been down that road, or maybe, I looked at it once but managed to somehow not set foot on it thanks to decent friends. I cant imagine being in a place that lonely, where the only friend you have is yourself, and in the same breath, your worst enemy.

I sit here and type this out, and take the occasional photo of our new pup lying sprawled out on my wife. I read what I have written, and take another photo. Some things make you wonder.

So, first time blogging blogger. My ground rules? Im not here for likes and popularity, or a soul mate or any of those things I have come across in blogs. Not here to give any answers or heart breaking, gut wrenching pieces of advice. I'm doing this to put my words in a place I wont friggin lose them. I've written hundreds upon hundreds of thoughts down on paper of all sizes and colors, and how many hundreds of pieces of paper do you think I still have? Some of those pieces of paper I wish I still had, like the exact poem I wrote the day my father died. Little things like that, that have just somehow slipped away, and so have the words.

If anyone bumps in to this, or comes across it or whatever, feel free to comment, leave a splat but please don't expect any serious feedback from me. Life happens on a day to day basis. What I say today may not be how I feel tomorrow. How i react today may not be who I will be tomorrow. Everything changes, and a lot faster than we sometimes think. For now, I'm going to post everything I do have on hand, no particular date or order, at least I know where it is. Ill work on this dam pages spelling and auto correct later. Have fun.

2014

The poisons out there. All this time taught to share, and care, and give away everything. But its all a lie. You give it all away and find yourself nowhere. You had to stay. You had to bay the howling of your soul and bite the bitter pill of a society that told you hush.

I've become as bitter as the sweet sensation of success. I have changed in to the person who does not give a dam and carries on like its all a game. I thought it would be easy, I thought they didnt care in that life. But they do. They care for themselves absolutely. Their own gain, their own pride or game or gain, all selfish reasons. I tried not to care, and I learned how not to care. But I don’t like who I am. I could sit and watch the fire burn for an eternity. I love its enduring, tenacious love. Its appetite, its being who it is without regard or discrimination. How it just is what it is and no one ever told it who it should be. And if anyone ever did tell it, how it carried on just being fire, and the world learned to live with that. Fire burns, its what it does. Such a simple, yet important thing in life.

A good night to write. Not entirely drunk, not entirely sober, not entirely devoid of thought, and not entirely overwhelmed by emotion. Just a clear view, for now, of now. Nothing more and nothing less. Scary times these, maybe only so because they are unknown times and waters these. But isn’t that what life is about? Travelling those seas and taking the storms along with the good weather? Even when the good weather turns out to be a windless spot, and the storm dumps you on the island of rich reward. Nothing is ever as it seems and tonight is the time to wonder if anything I see, is actually what it is. And if it isn’t, what do I make of it? Maybe me just seeing it, is what makes it what it is. Me being entrenched in who I am, and what I believe and what I “stand for” makes this all either work, or not. Its my comfort zone I guess. We all have one. Sober, I tend to be more pragmatic. Problem; logic; solution directly proportionate to logic and problem. If it isn’t my problem, step away. No good Samaritan left inside me. Where I am now, seeing things differently. More emotional, more touchy feely. I’ve done some work on getting rid of that part of me. I used to spend too much time on acting out of emotion, and not logic. And now I find myself on the flip end of the scale, thinking only logically and entirely not emotionally enough. Part of that is true, and some of it lie if I have to look at it with focused eyes. I’m still trying to let go of a lot of emotional decision making and be a bit more practical. But still I cant always get that right. I don’t know if I'm afraid of conflict, or don’t care or what, but I still just let things slide very often, even if I'm unhappy with what the result would be. I still do that. I still don’t know what it matters though, whether I'm unhappy or someone else is, it just always seems like if I'm unhappy it's a lesser deal, I know how to bottle it up, or put it away or something. I don’t know how true everything is I'm saying here tonight, but it feels good to write it out and say it. Where the truth lies in all this, I guess, is someone else’s hobby to find. Perhaps that’s the thing, I don’t know my own truth, I only have rumors and hints at what it is I want or really do stand for. And that’s only from listening to other people when they have opinions. So what am I doing here tonight then, writing all this out? I don’t really know. All I know is I'm enjoying it and I'm doing it effortlessly and it's all just kind of flowing. Just coming out. I don’t know what it means, and I'm not going to pretend like I'm going to try and explain it. Maybe it's all just one big brain fart that’s been building up for a while. I mean there are a hundred different topics I would love to just write about. My opinions and feelings and what I see as right and wrong and just and unjust and just rant my ass off. And maybe that’s why tonight is a good night to write, because I can’t do that. There’s a block tonight, an invisible barrier that’s not letting me get worked up about all the things that do piss me off and make me feel angry so often. For tonight I'm protected from seeing ….no wait, feeling that anger. Tonight I can just talk, and not really let the subject matter take over and turn me into fiery rage. I wonder why that is? And that right after saying I've become more pragmatic. Hahaha. The irony. And that, after me saying that I just sometimes let things slide because me or someone else being unhappy blahblahblah. THE IRONY. So who is it I'm lying to then, if it's only me typing, and only me writing, who is it I feel I'm protecting from this merry go round chain of thought and illusion? It can only be me, but protect myself, from me, that makes no sense. Am I capable of being honest with myself? Am I capable of seeing the things I think may be there to see, and still being able to say yes, I'm me ill go on? I don’t know. I hate it when people say you should speak to someone. We all have someone to speak to inside. I guess the problem is can you trust that person. After all, isnt that other person only human at the end of the day as well? Same brain, same chemicals, same A.D.D O. C. D. M. D as the pickled brain you’re in right now? Hahaha, well I guess that’s what we will never know. Part of me hating it when people say that, is then I have to listen to another person and take their advice against my beliefs. The person doing the telling is also only human.

We bought a puppy today. Cute little girl, a ridgeback. She's sleeping on Ls arm right now, stretched out and her tongue hanging out. Very cute, I've taken numerous pictures. How is it 24 hrs ago, I didn’t know she existed, and tonight I'm so happy to have her here, where I can see she is warm and safe and sleeping as if she has no worries. I don’t know what to make of the rest of the gang though. It's like the guys have never seen a female dog before. Slinks is just outright afraid of her, Dobs isn’t too stressed. Roger, I think is getting there. Been a lot of growling from him and it looks like he is the biggest issue to him. I just don’t get how it works, they are the same breed, and in essence, she was meant to be like a buddy for him. The 2 small dogs have each other and are always fart assing around together, so we thought it would be nice to get him someone for his side. And yet he is the one with the most misgivings, for lack of a better word. I'm sure he will come around, and I hope he does.

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Salt plain roads that don’t exist

And pain that’s there just like a cyst

Walking roads that just aren’t there

Like swimming a river that goes no where

Walk that road or run it if you will

Go to the doctor, take his pill

Shut your mouth and learn to deal

Red wine can only cry

There’s a part of me that is scared

Not of what’s out there, or what I might find

But agreeing with it.

Not drunk enough to mistype yet, but I can feel the whiskey dropping its curtain on motor neuron mechanics. Its bliss, to know that shortly it will all be dulled out. It will be quiet again. It’s not things unresolved, it’s not problems haunting, or a childhood with scars. It’s simply seeing the things I do every day. I’m not a police man, or soldier or welfare worker…..I’m just a normal person. But seeing how things do work, and how it is all orchestrated, leaves me with an intense desire to drink.

Now I’m drunk.  Whiskey and music. Such a good mix. I love I hate I feel. I can’t explain I won’t all punctuation out the door I’m just who I am. I won’t apologize for that, and don’t want any lee way I’m just that

Who I am.

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Another night spent in the company of whiskey.  In these moments I don’t care who judges, because my violence will burn you. The one thing it can’t burn is my own judgment. How much alike I am, and how near I am to that line I drew in my mind. I suppose it doesn’t matter. I have a life’s worth of excuses to fire at this in self defense, but I can’t escape myself in asking “Why Donald, if you always knew you drew that line for others. Where is YOUR line?”

When I write, things come out, in one form or another, it all comes out. In this, I can’t hide from myself, I can’t dodge the questions. There are aspect of myself I find strange, and have no answers for. Rather understand that they are a part close to those that have come to realize that I shouldn’t question those things. Just let them be. There are those that I respect, by some or other means, and I know they have travelled a path of their own. You cannot help me, just like those before could not help you until you saw the light for yourselves.

I hate my fucking keyboard…….

I have found a part of me that still has something to put down here, albeit not on paper, but in words. The timeless words that never go away.  Words I can’t escape totally, but it’s always hard to escape those things that you can’t form in to something more than a feeling. We spoke tonight. L and I. we spoke about Ian. There’s part of me that wants to believe what she said about him. I’ve spent so much time hacking through an emotional bond with him that almost never existed, well not for me by the feel of it. I always took family and blood so seriously. And somehow I built that wall, and I built it well enough to block out things I didn’t want to feel.  L started? chipping away at that wall tonight. I love her, it wasn’t a fight, although my first instinct was to grab whatever was near and defend myself. I’ve done a pretty good job at writing off, closing the books on all the things that happened. It’s not that much happened, but its how I felt about it I wrote off. I wish I could say “congrats u wanted me to fight, now see how much I don’t care”, but that’s not the truth. I only gave up caring because it hurt too much to care. Pride, it's such a silly thing. But when it’s all you have, what do you cling too? I was young, I was stupid. Which young person without regrets can say that? It was the things they said in passing, in just living that made the impact on me. I could spend a thousand life times having ‘meaningful conversations’, but it’s the things you all said in passing, in living a life, that touched me, left its mark. It doesn’t really matter now I guess. Time has moved on, and the things I thought were important, turns out they aren’t. And likewise, they things I dismissed, turned out to be important. It will always change that way. Turn itself upside down and inside out to fit the moment. Maybe the best I can do is make peace with it all. Smile and wave as they all say. Just smile and wave at a world and people I don’t understand.

Writing all this down doesn’t help like it used too. It does help, don’t get me wrong, or don’t thing I don’t enjoy writing. I just can’t bullshit myself with writing like I used to. Writing used to be my justification of why I felt the way I did. I still for the most part feel the way I always have. There are aspects that have changed, but some that have not. Anger, or frustration, that’s still there. I don’t think that will ever go away. It’s not about meditation or deep breathing, it’s part of who I am. That feeling I wouldn’t know what to replace with. It’s inbred. Being able to hide it, control it, that’s changed. Perspective on life, how I deal with people, my shyness, that has changed. Guess it all depends on how you look at it. One rule that hasn’t changed is the 40 yr rule. Been affirming that for many years now, and there’s part of me that knows it’s true, and a part of me that has been trying to kill that other part for a while. The theory goes, my life will end at 40, and it comes from a way off that theory. And part of me wants it to be true, and part of me doesn’t want it to be true. I made the mistake of mentioning it to L once, was a drama evening and I had to let it out. Turns out it was a mistake to do that. Thank God I’m writing now, and not talking, or there would be either an argument or questions. And that was never the point. All I wanted was to be heard. Strange how these things echo through in real life. I just wanted sympathy, and I do hate myself for it. For saying that out loud. But I have to admit that, to me, or others, it doesn’t really matter now. I hate wanting to say “hold me, just hold me, touch me, and let me cry. Don’t tell me everything will be ok because I know it won’t”

There was always a part of me that knew it wouldn’t, but I locked it away for so long.

I just don’t know what to say. There are so many words inside, and so many ways to put them out there, that at the end of it all I just don’t know how. Ok it’s not that I don’t know how, but I’m scared. Yes I’m scared. There are so many ways to put something out there in the world these days; I’m scared it gets misinterpreted. All proves a point at the end of it. I never wrote anything with the intention of anyone reading it, and here I am spellchecking to make sure I don’t look like an ass. Hahahaha! The irony of it ALL.

I don’t know any of the answers, and let alone less any of the questions. I can only attest for me, and my life, and where I’m hopefully going. I’m not right, but I’m sure I’m not wrong. I drink too much, and I think I know why. There are no excuses only my reasons. But my reasons only sound like excuses to those who don’t really want to hear. It’s not as black and white as you think, and if it is, you've never really lived. It’s in the grey that life happens, in the cross fire of decision and well, decision. What do you decide to do? One man’s grey is another man’s way. We will fight forever, not because we hate, but because we don’t understand. I don’t know another man’s grey and he doesn’t know mine. Why I made the choice I did, when I did. That’s always a hard call. But it’s easier to call it from where we stand and say “NO”.

What if I don’t want to say NO anymore? What if I want to say, go ahead and live, just don’t fuck around with me? Somewhere, somehow, I’m the bad guy.

FUCK I AM THE BAD GUY. Seeing things people say, and refraining from comments, that’s my good. Because my comments would be bad. If I zoom out, then yes my comments would be bad. I’m not sure for who, but I would still be labeled the bad guy for calling it as it is. Just, get a life people.  Maybe I don’t have one, but it feels like I’m more alive than any of you looking at what you put on public display. You think putting the shit you do on a social media site is going to change anything? Ah my fuck, no go DO something about the situation.

Oh and ps it’s not as ‘covert’ as you think, cause anyone with a bit of insight can see there’s shit that needs to be dealt with there. Go sort that stuff out and post some happy/smiley picture posts wont you? Thanks! J

Somewhere we all made the mistake of thinking our opinions counted for something. Good god I look at face book, and the comments, and the people, and the expectations…….ah my god wow!!! How egotistical have we become?!  We all have a voice and we have all been taught that “your opinion counts” or voice for lack of a better descriptive. Did it ever occur to anyone, that maybe it doesn’t? Maybe that’s what we were told, not to make us feel better, but to make the tellers feel better, because they knew better, and hoped for better?

My life has proved no harder, or softer than anyone’s. We all know shits out there, but what makes you think anyone wants to hear about your shit?

I think I may have been cursed; if I go to bed early, I wake up tired. If I go to bed late. I wake up tired. If I go to bed drunk, I wake up tired. If I take sleeping pills, I wake up tired. Can you find the common denominator? Must be a curse….

Hahahaha! My first spelling error was demon, the irony kills me. :P

There comes a time, that no matter how  happy you are, and no matter how content you are, that you also realize that you’re till as misunderstood, or just not listened too, like when you were a high school pupil. I know you didn’t want to talk these things tonight, but the fact that I feel the way I do, and needed to let it out, but stopped says it all. I will swallow it again, and never breach the topic. It’s always been about others Donald, not about you.

I’m coming to the point of hating social media. SO much utter crap being posted, and dare you just say anything. I understand social media, and there actually is a certain responsibility when it comes to that. Somehow as a people, as a race or whatever you want to call it, that’s all lost. As long as it makes ‘me’ feel good, or hell, look good, it’s ok to say. Social media has made people blunt. Because it’s on a page, not me saying it out loud, it’s ok to say, I don’t have to think. 

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A time to live

A time to die

A time to look you in the eye.

A time to talk

And a time to hear

A time to look beneath the fear

A time to listen

A time to think

Wandering ever closer to the brink

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