Its hard to put all of it in words. I listened to music from when I was young and.......well just young. Cant say how much I enjoyed it. Depeche mode, tears for fears, bruce springsteen. Just things that touch nerves I have left alone for a long time. Maybe there is something in me I tried to forget. Something I left alone for a long time. I still dont know what it is, or was. Ive always fel tthis way, a little left out, a little off the beaten track. I get all the artistic meanings of that, but it doesnt help when you dont know what that really means.
I've always stood out, but always stood in? does that make sense? People said I would be well known and whatever because of who I am, by nature. I never believed them. We all all stand out if any one ever looks closely enough. (Sometime Dec 2015)
Tuesday, 5 January 2016
2016
A new year, a new beginning, or so they say. Same shit, different year, would be others words. I'm somewhere in between. My only resolution this year, is to not have resolutions. To have a mould you know will break is pointless. To just go with the flow and let this year mould itself seems more fun and interesting.
I just feel that trying more ends up offering less. And before we all stand aghast with expressions of horrid blah blah, hear me out. For me, life turned out to be like Love. The more I focused on it, the more elusive it became. I still don't know what my passion is, I still dont know what my life calling is, I actually still don't know anything. BUT...that's where things change. No more peer group pressure. I think I may have found a place of being ok with that, not totally, but a little. Anyone having anything to say about that, is more than welcome to come have a chat with me. Hahahaha! Its not aggressive, not even passive aggressive, it just is. I'm not saying go be a bum on the streets or anything like that. I will prob never be president, or Director of NASA, and that's fine. I'm happy with that. I can only do the things that are with in my grasp to touch and change. I'm not in that space right now, that's all.
I just feel that trying more ends up offering less. And before we all stand aghast with expressions of horrid blah blah, hear me out. For me, life turned out to be like Love. The more I focused on it, the more elusive it became. I still don't know what my passion is, I still dont know what my life calling is, I actually still don't know anything. BUT...that's where things change. No more peer group pressure. I think I may have found a place of being ok with that, not totally, but a little. Anyone having anything to say about that, is more than welcome to come have a chat with me. Hahahaha! Its not aggressive, not even passive aggressive, it just is. I'm not saying go be a bum on the streets or anything like that. I will prob never be president, or Director of NASA, and that's fine. I'm happy with that. I can only do the things that are with in my grasp to touch and change. I'm not in that space right now, that's all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)