Release

I feel frustrated. I feel... out of touch. I feel like theres things happening and I'm the last one to find out. I feel isolated.

Normally I'm ok with isolated, but now, this. I dont know. I feel like an add on.

I feel obsolete. I feel outdated. I feel left behind.

I dont like these feelings, but it is what it is. I feel what I feel. How do I change this? How do I change how I feel?

I feel there is so much I must just live with. I feel there is so much I must just accept.

I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall. But at least it has a face, and hollow eyes and nods, and then goes on anyway.

I feel like I have absolutely no control.

This is an example of what would be considered very bad writing, it all has 'I' in it. But I'm not writing this for acclaim. I'm writing this because it's how I feel.

Hindsight

Things happened today. But I'm almost, calm. It was an event. No greater or less than anyone else's day. Bit of a rough road ahead. but isnt that just life? What sticks in my mind, is painting it over. Fresh coats of paint to make it past, to make it memory.

Doesn't doing that, set it in some emotional stone, the experience? Harden it in to something you actually will never forget? Paint over an object long enough, and arent you ultimately left of a cast of it? The pain tabs are pretty good, can almost not feel it, just see it in the bruising and occasional stretch if I forget. But in here, in this imagination of mine, thats where Im really feeling it. Its where Im painting and making moulds.