Dear God

 You know all about me. I dont have to explain it all, again, in writing. You know whats going on inside me. I wake up its there, I work and its there, I go to bed and it overwhelms my mind. You know what Ive done, what Im doing, and how I feel. How do I change it all? How do I feel like I did something right?The frustrating thing about letters like these, is that I do have the answers. You have given me the answers, so maybe my questionn is, how do I do it. I know what to do, I dont know how. I dont know how to let go of the hurt, the anger. Both at the world and at myself. I dont know where to look to find that ray of light, or hope. Every which way I look I just feel frustration, drained, irritation. ANd its taking its toll on me. I need to be.....better? You know what I mean by that, I need to get better, because im not well on the inside. I take responsibilty for my actions. I have not helped the situation, I let it get me down. But right now, Im really down, and I need a hand up, please. I will try to rectify whats mine to fix. Keep the promise I made to him. But please let it go easier between him and I? It breaks me when he says he doesnt know what to say, or that he doesnt want to talk. The conversations are getting shorter, the words carry less meaning, I feel like we are drifting apart.