Lines

Where do you draw the line? What is the line you can not cross? Not about friendship or betrayal. Just a line you don't know how to deal with. My brothers cat had to be euthanized today. I have pets, all of whom I love, I know what pain he is feeling.

A friend of mine, won a mini marathon today. I've never won a race, but I know what the joy she is feeling.

The bounce between conversations, emotions. The wondering if anything in my life is significant too anyone else. Is there someone else out there, who I am at least one side of that coin too? I mean, is someone else out there upset, or happy, about how I feel, or is that a just a dream I have? Where someone holds me, tells me its going to be ok, and congrats on where I am in life.

Yes, I'm married, and for the most part happily. I listen, I try to move in a certain direction, together. I have someone to talk to. That direction has been split a bit over time. I dont have direction of my own anymore, and I feel like it's always me people come to, to make them smile, and feel everything is ok. What if I turned around and said, 'Fuck it, its all screwed. We are all fucked.' What then? If I stopped saying  'Everything will be ok', what then.

I just feel that too many people rely on me to say the whole 'Its ok' line. Im sick to shiza of it.